Updated: Jul 4, 2020
I feel so stuck. So average. So plain. I know why. I've always been associated with people, a group of friends, a boyfriend or family. For once, I'm finding myself. It's hard searching for the person that you are, beyond the people that you surround yourself with. I might not be making any sense, but I know someone here can relate.
For a while, I'd been trying to be the person I was before I messed up my friendships and relationships. The "good" Kele. The clean and pure one. I've come to realise that I'll never be that person again.
I am being forced to mourn previous versions of myself. In order to birth a new me.
It's tiring and sad. It's as real as letting go of someone who's dead but if I don't do this, I'll never meet the Kele that's waiting for me on the other side, I guess.
By Kelebogile Lehasa